


Soft Hell - Free Star Wars Serotonin

by Icechild



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Missing Scene, Some sad parts but mostly happy, Spoilers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 12,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26861806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icechild/pseuds/Icechild
Summary: What if Anakin hadn't fell. What if he'd gotten to raise his children with Padme. What if Obiwan got to be the grandpa to the twins and help raise them. Aunt Ahsoka and Uncle Rex and Cody. The 501st and 212th get to show their cultness to the world, the war is over, everyone gets to be happy. What it could have been, but never will.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker & Han Solo, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Satine Kryze, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 24
Kudos: 77





	1. What It Could Have Been

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER! All of these were originally typed out on my phone very quickly at night whenever the inspiration struck, so please excuse any typos you may see. It is also why primarily instead of calling people by their full names (Anakin and Obi-wan mostly) I just call them Ani and Obi. Anyways, please enjoy!

I want good soft things. 

I want Ani struggling to watch his babies while Padmes at a senate meeting and Ani needs to shower and rest so he calls Obi and he has the twins calm in seconds bouncing them each on a knee and telling them stories and Luke's staring at him like he's a god while Leia plays with his beard and ani gets to nap and obi gets to watch his grandbabies grow and I'll fight anyone who tries to say that's not their relation. 

I want Anakin trying to make a new dinner to impress Padme and having Obiwan try it first and obi just about dies from the amount of spice Ani dumped into it

I want Anakin panicking that he got a gray hair and Obi laughing at him

I want Luke being a reckless toddler and getting himself into stupid dangerous situations and Ani having a stroke every single time and Obi just looking at him and teasing him because Luke was revenge for how Ani always was with him. 

I want Ani play battling with the tiny twins. 

I want Obi scolding the twins and Ani for not meditating correctly

I want Padme getting ready for a senate ball and helping tiny Leia with her dress while Ani fits little Luke with his small jedi robes. 

I want Padme and Ani slow dancing in their apartment while the twins sleep

I want Ahsoka to steal the kids to let Padme and Ani have alone time and scooping them both with the force and calling Luke a little menace too much like his father. 

I want tiny Luke calling Windu’s shit when he picks on Ani and Ani has to scold but is so proud of his little boy. 

I want Leia correcting the council when they give bullshit ideas and Ani backing her 100%

I want Padme taking Luke to the senate and him being. So. So. Confused by what's happening. 

I want Ani teaching them to build droids

I want r2 giving the twins rides 

I want them hiding in Obi’s cloak and sneaking with him to get to places they shouldn't. 

Leia and Luke getting stranded and they dont wanna call Ani because they know he's protective so they hire Han and then oops. 

Leia warning Han that her dad is protective. Luke laughing and shaking his head like it's just gunna be Ani. 

Ani has the dad glare down to a T. But then Obi comes in. And Rex. And Fives. And literally every other clone. And they're all protecting their little princess. 

Luke came home and said hello there and Ani immediately knew who he spent the day with. 

Luke being an idiot like his father and driving like an insane person and Ani is the worst backseat driver. “It's scary when you aren't in control.” 

Ani showing up at Obis because the twins kept him up all night and he's so tired. And Obi just laughs and makes tea while Ani pouts and tries to nap on the couch. 

A council meeting and Ani has the twins in each arm and they fall asleep on him and he leans back to make them more comfortable and falls asleep as well. Obi will cut anyone who disturbs the group. 

Tiny Leia getting a cold and Ani freaking the hell out because he's scared for her life. 

Ani coming home from a mission utterly exhausted and dead on his feet and Padme bringing him to go to sleep only for Luke and Leia to climb into the bed cause they missed him. 

Leia sneaks Han over and he hears a lightsaber in the middle of the night. It's actually luke protective of his sister 

Luke gets into trouble and Leia gives him cover with blaster fire and Rex can 100% tell who their parents are. 

Luke. Wearing. Ani’s. Old. Robes. 

Luke is a teen but going on missions the 501st still calls him Baby General because he's always that little boy in their eyes. Luke hates it. Ani thinks its precious because he's not ready for his kids to grow up

Ani calls Padme every night he's away to talk and ask about the kids 

Padme being an absolute goddess and raising her kids with all proper etiquette that they pick on Ani for his mistakes 

Ani letting Rex hold the kids for the first time 

Ani makes jokes all the time about how the kids are going to make him turn to the dark side

Luke has a nightmare about Ani dying on a mission. It would have come true if Ani hadn't remembered Luke’s nightmare and changed the plan. 

Padme fixing Lukes hair only for him to mess it up again .2 seconds later 

R2 is super nanny

Ahsoka tells them stories about how often she had to save their idiot father

Obi coming to tell them Anakin was hurt and Leia opens the door. She immediately knows and he just hugs her

A dickwad at the senate insults Padme and Luke goes absolutely ballistic 

Leia likes the halls of healing. Luke is deeply unsettled by it. 

Leia picks on Luke every three seconds but the moment someone else does it it's death. 

The only way to make tiny Luke sit still was to let him play with the wires in anis arm

Obi finds out he's watching the kids by two small flesh torpedoes attacking him while he sleeps in the earliest rays of the morning


	2. Water Park Troops

The war ends and Ani takes the 501st to a water park. 

It is a full water battle 

Echo discovers pool noodles can be made to water guns and then it is full war 

Fives went to dive under and Hardcase wrestled with him under the surface 

Rex and Cody had just watched at first until Ani and Ahsoka pushed them in. 

Someone breathed water and yelled for Kix as they coughed and seeing that they’re dramatic and fine Kix just yelled “not my job” and swam away

Tups bun fell out and he looks like a sea monster 

Ahsoka pushes Anakin into the pool and laughs only for him to grab her ankle and drag her in. 

Ahsoka and Fives team up to attack ani. 

Ani gets Rex to help him fight back 

Echo got stuck on the water slide

Kix tried to drown himself in an existential crisis

Jesse laughed at all of them until Coric became a living menace and dragged him into the deep end

Ani and Ahsoka are banned from marco polo because they keep using the force to cheat

They're all driving Cody to drink

Ahsoka accidentally kicks Ani in the dick and he just about dies

Rex jokes that they're gunna have to do a water rescue and Ani chokes out a curse. 

They all get lemonade after. 

Ahsoka gets a stomach ache and ani says its revenge 

Everyone is happy and safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short but I'm trying to post these in the same bricks I typed them in originally. Again, let me know what you think!


	3. They Deserved Better

Ani didn't turn to the dark but that does not mean if someone touches Luke on the battlefield you won't immediately die. 

Luke forgetting food and sleep is a thing and Anakin scolding him and then Luke making the deal that when Ani eats he will eat

Ahsoka is very proud that they’re finally taking care of themselves. Obi is proud Luke used the negotiation method Ani could never refuse 

Obi got thrown down on a mission and Ani is too far to help but Luke just went completely ballistic and made a very protective ring around his grandpa

Leia braiding Obi’s beard

Luke and Ani both coming home exhausted after a mission 

Ani comes home to Padme before the twins are born exhausted and a little banged up and she brings him to sit on the couch while she cleans him up and he's trying not to fall asleep and just grabs her and cuddles and holds her and they both fall asleep on the couch

Luke becomes the temple heartthrob and Ani could not be more proud

Jedi are allowed to have significant others so long as their attachments don't get in the way and Ahsoka gets a boyfriend only for Ani to go full dad with the rest of the 501st 

Ani checks every ship his children will be on personally before they go to the air

When kidnapped the bad guy shows Luke what would have happened if Ani had turned and shows him all the pain he causes and that he'd never get to really be with his father and Ani cut his hand off and Luke gets saved and immediately gets to Ani and will not let go and will not stop crying 

Little Leia thought Rex and Cody were dating and they both nearly threw up when finding out 

Palpatine nearly gets Luke to turn before Ani plunges his saber through his heart. 

Anakin remembers the future that was hidden from him that the son showed him and goes right to Obi and tells him how much he loves him and refuses to leave his side. 

Skywalker becomes  _ The _ name to the point Leia doesn't introduce herself with it because she wants to earn their respects not have it passed from her parents

Ani and Luke are going to give Kix a stroke one day

The council accepted them taking children and spouses seeing how well Ani was doing with it and Plo full on brought Wolffe to a meeting. 

Scratch that Plo brings every child he sees and claims them

Windu is going to have an aneurysm because of all this

Yoda thinks its funny


	4. The Cult

Rex has found many new members crying in corners because Fives, Jesse, and Hardcase scared them with their cultness

The whole cult loves ani until it's Kix

Kix is the only 501st member who bitch slapped Ani

Fives once forgot Ani had a metal arm and fist bumped him full throttle and then had to go see Kix

Ani once found Kix crying into his soup

Rex got hurt and Ani went feral

Ani’s leg got clipped by blaster fire once and Hardcase refused to let him walk just in case and carried him back

The whole cult watched Ani do something ridiculously stupid and then joined in after him

As a prank the whole 501st and Ani got fake blood and covered themselves in it and lined up in front of Kix’s spot in med bay

Fives replaced Echo’s rule books with porn and watched him scream run to Rex and die

Windu tried to work with them once thinking the clones would at least be good and he went to the barracks just to find Fives and Jesse taping Echo to the wall 

Someone told Kix they were out of bacta and bandages and he was about to murder Ani thinking he’d done something and tried treating it alone

Cody saw Rex utterly exhausted and laughed at him. They made the joke to switch teams for a day with Ani and Obi’s permission. Cody vowed never again

Obi is the only other jedi the 501st enjoys

Someone said Ahsoka wasn't a real jedi and Hardcase just about ended their life

Ani was on a holocall with the council and he had a head wound that was bleeding and Kix came in and they just see his eye start twitching

Coric has had to drag Kix away from murdering their general

Ani talking to Palpatine after protecting him and Ani had been hurt but was brushing it off and Kix fucking blasts the door down with such a glare “I might not be force sensitive but I know when your idiot ass gets hurt sit the fuck down before I make you.”

Palpatine is honestly worried Kix’s chip activated early and wrong but Ani just started laughing

Kix “are you sexually active. Well you're a jedi so that's a no. Right general?” And then Ani just doesn't answer and that's how Kix finds out 

Jesse finds Kix about to drown himself in bacta

Rex does his best to keep Ani safe but is fully aware his jedi is a moron

End of the war all the other clones are happy to leave and do their own thing. The cult just looks at Ani like now what

Ani teaches them to babysit

Hardcase thought handing Luke a blaster was a good idea

Rex is the most mature of the cult but when working with Cody it’s still clear where he's from

Ani loves his cult so so much


	5. Weddings and Children

War ends Ani doesn't turn and he and Padme get to have a public wedding before the twins are born so they can be legally claimed as both their kids 

The 501st and 212th are all there. 212th is inches from joining the cult

212th is a sister cult of the 501st. Idiot jedi cults

Padme and Ani slow dancing and Obi is so proud

Windu is about to cause shit and Yoda drags him out

Jesse is getting wasted at the bar 

Obi was the best man

Rex, Fives, Echo, Jesse, Hardcase and Obi all watched Ani panic trying to make sure everything was perfect

Obi helped him write his vows

Ahsoka went dress shopping with Padme

Jesse gives Ahsoka a drink and she's about to go for it before Echo slaps it out of her hand and is ten seconds from killing his brother

Kix is just waiting for Ani to trip on Padme's dress and hit the floor

Rex is incredibly proud and happy

Cody tries to convince Obi to marry Satine. He says he's still not brave enough for politics

Fives and Hardcase wrestling outside the reception

Coric has yet to leave the cookie table

Waxer wants to get married and Boil cuffs him over the head because “no one wants to marry you you dolt” like the brothers they are

People realize Ani is the emotional one of the couple

Padme was eating cake and Ani shoved it into her face

Food fight ensues

Ani and Padme kissing while covered in icing

Hardcase picks on Ahsoka for being in a dress and she just shifts and shows her saber hilts

Rex laughs while Hardcase nearly pisses himself

Part of Ani’s vows are handing Padme his saber and telling her his life is hers

Bail and Obi watch like two proud parents

Ani comes up to Obi after and hugs him

Rex and Cody watch the whole thing together and laugh because it's finally a time to be happy again

Boil and Hardcase arm wrestle

Jesse and Fives try to get Bail to make them clone senators

Not having to hide it anymore Ani always is in physical contact with his wife

The clones don't understand where babies come from and are very confused how Padme has a whole incubation chamber in her body

The cult waits outside while the babies come cause they're family and would be there and Jesse screams when Ani comes out with both twins

Echo doesn't understand how theres two

Kix is about to beat his head against the wall at how he got the only brain cell of his brothers

Fives loves looking at the married couple and saying “mawied” 

Waxer remembering missions when Padme was in trouble and seeing Ani so flustered and it all makes sense now

I know she wanted to raise them on naboo but I don't want them to go to naboo. So. The 501st made up the nursery in their apartment and Rex finds the boys all covered in paint and stuff 

The walls are covered in space and blaster fire

Rex makes them repaint it nicely

Echo is actually a really good painter but Hardcase can’t paint to save his life 

Kix gets the most safety proof cribs ever

Kix is like a rabid squirrel to Ani but if anything ever happened to Padme, Ahsoka, or the twins he'd kill everyone in the room and then himself

Jesse is actually a very good cook

Fives is a good singer and likes singing to the twins

Padme jokes with Ani that she's never going to get to see their kids by herself

Coric doesn't know how baby formula works

Obi reading bedtime stories to his grandbabies and Fives falls asleep too

People say Ani isn't good with kids but then Rex finds him cradling tiny Leia to his chest and humming to her and playing with her hair and making leaves and flowers float around her with the force. He finally sees him happy and laughing without fear or anger on his face

Leia asks Ahsoka for hair help when Padme isn't there and at first she doesn't know how but after practicing on Tup she's real good at it

Luke got picked on because other padawans said he wasn't going to be as good as his dad and the 501st is about to fight some children

Luke and Leia have sooooo many uncles

Ani full on shoves Obi to Satine says “you two play nice. We can all see his genetics please just make it official.” And leaves while Obi chokes

Luke finding Ani’s lightsaber and pointing it at his face and Ani screams

Leia uses the force to bully 3PO

Tiny Luke trying to ‘negotiate’ but saying words wrong and Ani is greatly amused

Windu tries to say jedi should not have children but then sees Ani actually following a schedule and rules and calming significantly 

Luke can meditate and likes to be in the gardens but Leia can't sit still or quiet her mind for the life of her

When asked how they fell in love Padme went to explain the whole story and Ani just smirked “I told her I didn't like sand and she kissed me” 

Luke now thinks that's the number 1 pick up line and tries to use it

It fails

Luke wants to see Tatooine and Ani reluctantly takes them

They meet grandma by visiting her grave

Padme holds Ani while he cries and Luke and Leia clamp onto him and promise they'll never leave him

Luke drinks milk so much that Kix wonders if he's trying to make his bones strong enough so he doesn't have to use the force to land when he jumps off things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More will be coming soon but five chapters is enough for one day. Let me know what you think and thank you so much for reading!


	6. The Other Cult

The 212th is a cult

They saw how the 501st was and went “maybe not that far but also-“

Cody wasn't ready to walk into the barracks and be greeted by everyone saying “hello there” all at once

Waxer and Boil are the chaos children

Cody is going to cry because he did his day with the 501st and doesn't want this

Obi finds Cody crying and is worried and then once its explained he decides to go look just to find Waxer on Boils shoulders with pipes in their hands as they yell “General Kenobi”

Helix finds Kix and they nod knowing exactly what the other one is thinking

Cody drags Obi back to med bay and Helix looks up and raises an eyebrow. Obi won't speak so Cody does “his ribs are shattered and he's trying to say it's fine” Helix is dead inside

Longshot is a disaster child

Obi gives Cody pats on the back

The only greeting they respond to is “hello there” 

Cody calls Rex because he doesn't know how to handle a cult

Fives and Echo find out what Waxer and Boil did and they climb the bunks and when Ani comes in they yell 

“It's over general. We have the high ground!”

If Ani didn't love them he'd be down two cult members

Helix went to Ani the day Kix went to Obi and Helix never wants to even see him again

Oddball, Waxer, and Boil should never be left in a room alone with Longshot. Oddball got set on fire

Obi got hurt on the field and thrown down and didnt get right back up and the 212th is ending lives that day. 

Ani and Obi both getting kidnapped and the 212th working the 501st both protective cult mode is terrifying

The cults love working together

Kix tells Helix how he talks to Ani and Helix can't fathom how he hasn't been court martialed 

They see Ani and Obi helping each other back to med bay and Helix “general. Maybe you should lie down? Please? Don't do this. Don't say you’re fine you aren't.” Meanwhile Kix glares at Ani and smacks him upside the head “you get what you fucking deserve dickhead.”

Obi and Ani switch cults for a day

Obi is used to Anakin so he's used to the 501st 

Obi comes back to his boys to find half of them in med bay and Helix rocking himself in the corner of the counter while Ani “your boys aren't as fun.”

Waxer asks to adopt every child they see on a mission

Obi gives them all dad hugs when they need it


	7. Family

Luke being a momma's boy and Leia being a daddy's girl. 

Luke doesn't get the point of fashion but somehow he becomes a fashion icon

The boy legit tried to wear a plastic bag out once to test the theory but Padme stopped him

Padme teaching him about different fruits

Padme rocking her baby son out on the balcony while Leia is sleeping in the room over and Ani is away as she tells him about all the adventures his parents have been on

Padme teaching Luke to cook

Luke talking with his mouth full and nearly choking when he laughed after Padme told him not to

Being the only one not force sensitive in the family Padme still manages to scare each of them

Luke always wants hugs from his mom

Luke was a leash child. But they never actually used one Padme just kept a hand on his back

Obi taught him meditation and that's when he started calming down

Padme would catch him meditating during senate meetings he trailed along to

Luke is a whole dumbass like his father but also fully Padme’s son and has such an unbelievable amount of charm and cleverness to go along with his stupid

Bail thought Luke was going to make a dangerous senator and then found him sleeping face down on the couch in Padme's office

Everyone thought he was calm and collected but getting food he dropped some and just stared at it and had a midlife crisis at 13

He drinks blue milk regardless of his age or time of day 

The hardest thing he did growing up was letting go of his mom

Luke was her cuddle bug

Many times Padme would be suffocated by her boys because Luke would be wrapped around one side and ani around the other

Once they got Luke to go to bed Ani being Ani would tell her it's because she's “intoxicating” and she’d smack him but then kiss him

Luke waking up from nightmares and clutching his stuffed bantha to his chest as he pads into their room and sits between Ani and Padme and cries

Luke is so excited to show Padme his new saber trick and then trips on his way to get there. 

She jokes he has his father's balance

Ani heard Leia laugh for the first time and will do anything to protect her

Ani has never understood hair or how Padme did it he just brushed and went. Sometimes not even that at war. But he 100% learned how to do braids and buns for his daughter

Ani really wanted Leia to use a lightsaber and be a jedi but she chose blasters and politics and he was big sad

Didn't stop her from following along. 

Ani tried to get the council to agree to make Leia the jedi rep at the senate

Leia said sabers were uncivilized and Obi died across the room

Ani giving his baby girl piggy back rides

Leia does not like stupid people

Ani learns she picked up all of his anger

Leia fussing in her crib so Ani pulls her out and takes her to his and Padme's bed and curls around her and brushes his fingers over her cheek and sings to her quietly till she falls asleep

Leia and Ani debate every little thing regardless of seriousness and go at it till making some preposterous deal. 

Leia started braiding Anis hair and that's when he decided he needed to cut it

Leia hates when Ani goes on missions because she's worried she won't ever see him again

Anis little princess can have whatever she wants

Ani brings her a gift every time he goes on missions just to say “I'm sorry for leaving”

Luke adores beaches because sand is fun when it’s wet and he wouldn't have been against it if he didnt grow up on Tatooine and Padme likes it but Leia thinks it's pointless and Ani won't touch the sand

Luke and Leia both sleeping in the bed with their parents

Leia argues with the council and Ani always supports even if he disagrees because he likes watching them argue with a child

Ahsoka makes a joke that Ani finally has another baby girl to watch and she gets some freedom only for Ani to grab her and hug her

Leia’s hair got caught in Ani’s mech hand once when he wasn't wearing the glove

She says she’s not scared when watching a movie but then presses directly next to Ani

She feels safe when she's there because she knows he will never let anyone hurt her

Leia making breakfast in bed for Ani once when Luke and Padme are at the senate and he slept in. 

It's the worst thing he's ever tasted but he eats it all with a smile

She didn't want to be a jedi but she was fond of Ani’s hood so all her dresses have hoods now

Ani doesn't know how to parent because he too is a child and he just takes his two babies to Padme

Ani once found Leia beating Luke up with a practice saber because he tried to take it

Ani laying injured in the halls of healing out cold while they waited for him to wake up and Padme and the kids are with him and Leia won't let go

Padme before the kids are born once they're outed when Ani is laying in the halls of healing down from wounds would lay in the bed with him 

Good wholesome parents with their babies


	8. Blue Family

Ahsoka and Ani chaos 

Ani finds Ahsoka chugging pineapple juice on a dare from Jesse, Hardcase, and Fives

Ahsoka got picked on for not having hair to style and Ani was about to cut a throat

Ahsoka always remembers that if she needs to calm Anakin down to grab his flesh hand

Never question his glove or his scars

Ahsoka watched him practice his saber skills until he collapsed

People always thought Ani was the scariest one to be around when Ahsoka was kidnapped but then Ani got kidnapped and Ahsoka is worse

Ani laughed at Ahsoka when she had to wear a dress but then felt like death when he had to wear a stuffy suit

They both feel naked without their lightsabers

Anakin carrying Ahsoka to bed when she falls asleep waiting for him to finish planning

Ahsoka finding Ani passed out under his fighter or covered with droid parts because he was building or working

The 501st loves watching them train together

Ani got shot down on a mission and he was fine but his comms broke and all hell broke loose

Whoever says Ahsoka is lacking because she's just a padawan is dead meat

Ani had to pull her back from murdering everyone

Ani had a panic attack and Ahsoka had to calm him down. Rex is the only one who knows about them

Ahsoka got kidnapped and they thought she was dead and Rex had to pull Ani back from the brink and talk him through breathing

After a bad mission Rex and Fives found Ani and Ahsoka respectively in their own isolation spots just thinking

Ahsoka likes to meditate the normal way but Ani much prefers moving meditation

Ani is a dangerous man and everyone who hurts Ahsoka realizes that

They keep track of who saves who more

They considered making it a contest like Ani and Obi but decided against it 

They have karaoke nights with the troops

Fives, Jesse, and Hardcase are Ahsoka’s number one fans

Hardcase 100% tried to get t shirts made

They once found Ani falling asleep in the mess hall and just watched him almost faceplant his food

Ahsoka got hurt and the 501st is out for blood. No one touches their girl

Hardcase and Ahsoka mud wrestling each other

Rex is exasperated but can't really say anything because Ani saw water and nearly combusted with joy

Ahsoka teases Ani all the time and he teases her but they still love each other

He makes sure she eats and sleeps and drinks but forgets about himself at the same time. 

They chat with each other through their force bond when in boring council or senate meetings

Jesse thought if he tried hard enough he could become force sensitive 

Ahsoka loves all her boys and they all love her

So many times the 501st has found Ani sleeping in odd spots. 

Jesse gave a whole report to him before realizing he wasn't brooding or meditating. He was asleep

Ani needs a thicc nap

Kix yelled at him even as he tucked him in to a cot in medbay and anyone who hasn't seen them before thought it was extremely weird

Fives drags Rex to go to bed too because he's picking up on Ani’s bad habits

Fives and Hardcase were about to prank Ani but then watched him spill caff on himself and start crying and decided against it

Jesse watched Hardcase make a sandball and throw it at Ani and just watched Hardcase run for his life

They had a beach mission and most of the troops loved it but Ani looked disgusted the whole time

Most of the 501st carry more than the standard medical supplies because Anakin's a moron

The council shredded into Ani about something that wasn't even his fault and Fives being the glorious boy he is with no regard for authority that isn't Anakin. Yelled back. 


	9. Cult Chaos

The 501st is the talk of training babes 

Anakin is a legend even with the new recruits because the cult is infamous. 

Rex and Jesse went to Kamino and everyone stared and Jesse basked in it but Rex was full mission mode and didn't let anything stop him

Ani has thrown Rex off so many buildings

Echo wanted desperately to correct the rules and regulations but then saw Anakin looking at the rule book and thought oh good. And then Ani closed it and went “yeah no. Not following any of that”

Jesse found Ani in the middle of the night in the mess clutching onto a cup of caff like it was his life

Ani once made a shield around all of them as they made their way back to cover and all the boys there huddled around him to keep him safe in turn till he got his feet back

Despite not being force sensitive Echo likes to meditate with Ani

Luke getting nervous when he gets to go on missions with Ani and Ani just tugs off his glove and lets Luke play with the wires to calm down

They went to a planet that was in its fall season and the boys all loved it but Ani was shivering the whole time

Fives picks on him for being a desert baby

Hardcase picks shells from beaches they go to

He breaks most of them but it's the thought that counts

Obi always takes the 501st when Ani gets medical leave because one, he's the only one who can handle the cult. And two. He likes seeing his boys see their brothers and play together

The 212th saw Obi working himself to death and Cody went up and dragged him to bed

Longshot and Hardcase can and will boobytrap the ship with pranks 

When discovering Padme is pregnant the clone babes mistake it as all humans can do it and think they can make babies

Ani panics and takes them to Obi. Obi then has to explain that that's not how that works

Obi gives Ani the talk again

Obi and Luke on missions together is so much wholesome

Obi makes sure he has enough blue milk on board 

Helix loves that child

And then Luke launches off a huge building with nothing but the force to protect him and Helix dies a little more inside

Kix swears and yells. Helix just cries when he's alone 

Like cutting onions he sees Obi coming back with a limp and it just happens 

Kix and Helix at a bar and everyone else is happy and partying and then its gloom corner as the two just bond over the fact that their jedi are idiots

Ani goes to the bar with his boys and Obi drags him out by the collar of his robes

Ani breathes in too much smoke on a mission and Kix has him on oxygen as Jesse, Rex, and Fives all debrief with him and Jesse makes fun of the way he breathes

Fives says he'd sound terrifying as a villain with that

Fives and Ani high fiving after a good fight

Jesse and Rex fist bumping after a successful mission

When the war finally ends Ani hugs Rex and thanks him for everything he'd done

Rex is going to cry

They're all going to cry

Everyone hugs Ani

Ani stopped order 66 but he still almost slipped to the dark side and all his boys protect him

Windu tries to rip into him about it but all the cult, not caring cause the army isn't needed anymore. The war was won. All yell back defending him

The cult loves Ani very very much


	10. Clones and Lightsabers

The clone babes using lightsabers. 

It’s because Ani gets his knocked away all the time and Obi dropped his so both the 501st and the 212th are getting lessons

Start with Rex and Cody cause they’re the most likely to have to use them

Cody had lowkey practiced beforehand so he knows some stuff

Rex handles it all very professionally and then sees Ani not follow a single safety procedure 

Kix gets the training and then realizes how stupid Ani is and almost kills him

Fives just really wants to spin it

They all ask to watch Ani and Obi fight and gather like younglings at story time

Hardcase immediately puts it in reverse grip because he hangs out with Ahsoka and that's how she uses it

Jesse swings it like a bat

Longshot tried really hard but he still sliced up the floor

Oddball is scared of it when it's in his hand

Waxer wants to use it to make toast

Boil smacks him for such a stupid thing but Ani is curious

Obi has to tell Ani that wouldn't work 

The two of them then realize that it would maybe cut meat and if you apply it right it could cook meat

Echo feels like it's illegal to touch the saber

Kix is waiting for the burns to come along

Obi and Ani do their fight and Fives asks for them to act out a scene 

Jesse “like one of you became the enemy”

Oh boy my small boys

Obi uses it like Anakin pushed him to the dark side

Ani is a cutie and they go ham

Echo and Fives are crying. So are Waxer and Boil

Rex and Cody just watch and Cody full on “if he went bad I'd still join him.”

Cody and Rex ask to duel each other and oh boy

They actually do well but then Fives and Jesse wanna fight. More mistake

Echo and Hardcase; Echo almost cries

He was brave and Fives talked to him to pump him up but then he saw Hardcase murdering the practice dummy and he doesn't want to fight anymore

Kix smacks Ani for giving Hardcase a saber

Fighting an army of droids and Cody sees Obi’s saber go flying away from him and sees him busy and he just ignites and goes ham. 

Palpatine wasn't prepared for the call from Dooku saying the clones had lightsabers

Ani drops his and then sees Hardcase going ballistic and he just sits at the edge of the battlefield and watches

The 501st are like children on a sugar rush when they get to hold the saber

The 212th are professional when they can be seen but that doesn't stop them from going to Cody for spin lessons

Ani is very tempted to make Rex his own saber

Cadets learn about them using jedi sabers and get so excited

Ani, Obi, and Plo are the top tier jedi to be placed with

Ahsoka teaches Jesse reverse grip moves

They're all scary when Ani gets knocked down and can't fight because he hurt himself protecting them and it doesn't matter who. You see that saber with clone armor and you're dead

Cody and Rex share tips

Obi dropped his saber and Longshot was so excited to get it

Oddball and Longshot fight for it

Obi listens to them debate and then reminds them that it's still his and then worries they'll kill for it

He knows they won't but still

Ahsoka and Ani do a demo fight to teach blocking 

The 501st want to wear jedi robes with their clone armor

Ani is about to let them but Obi said no

Ani makes them all toy lightsabers

Everyone has blue or green but Kix 

He made Kix have a red one

Ani then gets chased by him and everyone just kinda agrees it’s accurate


	11. Sad Spot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry

The war ends. The bars get flooded. Jedi and troopers alike. 

Some of them are crying

Others are laughing and crying as they see old friends

Hugs everywhere to the point several hug the bartender

Anakin, Ahsoka, and Rex group hug

Anakin tells them and Obi what happened and that he nearly turned and all of them support him because he didn't 

Kix gets plastered with Jesse and they go from laughing and fighting to crying and clinging to each other. 

Obi hugs Cody knowing what could have happened

Everyone ends up with arms looped around the person next to them in a huge circle singing drunkenly

Some are crying. Most are crying. But happy tears

The bartender even cries seeing them all like this

No ranks. No orders. No war. Just siblings and friends enjoying being alive with each other

We interrupt your program for some sadness and pain

Kix found Rex only for Rex to be on his deathbed

Kix down on his knees and clasping onto Rex’s hand. Telling him he’s sorry that he failed. That he tried to save them. And Rex forces himself up to hug him and hold him and they cry into each other’s shoulders. They’re the only ones left and Rex doesn’t want to leave him alone but he wants to see Cody again. He wants to see Jesse and Fives at each other’s throats. Kix knows there's nothing he can do. But the dagger still twists when Rex stops breathing and his heart stops beating and he realizes he was too late to save any of them. 

Echo finding Fives again. Getting into force heaven and just knowing it’s him and running towards him and yelling his name and Fives turns and sees him and they tackle hug and never let go

Rex sees every one of his brothers he felt he failed and they all hug him as he cries and allows himself to breakdown

Every clone up in force heaven watching out for Kix

Anakin finally coming back and seeing Obi and smiling at him despite all he’s done as he clings to the man who raised him. 

Ahsoka dying. Surrounded by the people she cared about but not the ones she craved the most. And she joins the force to see Obi and Ani both waiting to greet her. The people she thought she’d never see again. “Hey snips. I told you you were meant to be at my side.”

Rex finding Luke and telling him about his father and that’s what fully convinces Luke that he can be saved

Anakin's force ghost showing to Leia to hug her and hold her because he never got to in life.

Rex and Anakin find each other in force heaven

Kix looking death in the eye and smiling because he gets to go home to his brothers

Ahsoka burying Rex

She goes to his grave everyday to talk to him because he’s the only one she felt she had left and doesn’t want to let go

Kix finding Ahsoka

Anakin had to watch her die from within the force.

Reaching out to her and showing as a force ghost to cup her cheek and wipe her tears and try to calm her down because his baby is in pain and he knows he put her there

And she smiles and laughs because she knows that touch anywhere and she just wants to be a padawan again safe at his side

The first time Luke got to hug his father was when they were both dead

(I hadn’t finished everything yet) Do we have any proof that Ani died first? Or is it possible that Ahsoka died first. And Ani had felt her die. And when his time came he saw her standing behind Luke with a smile on her face because he was finally coming home.

Obi getting to see Qui again

Let’s flip again shall we? Rex finding Ahsoka on the battlefield and not only does he watch all his brothers die. But he has to watch and hold his little sister too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's okay we can all cry together, it's fine.


	12. Youtube and McDonalds

Youtube Video “What if Padme was a sith lord”

I’m immediately picturing Anakin being forced to his knees only to see his wife above him with a red blade held under his chin. 

Ani getting captured and tortured and then Padme coming in and hugging him and kissing him and telling him if he loved her then he would kill every other Jedi

Anakin getting hurt and he thinks he hears her voice but knows that’d be impossible and then through hazy vision he sees her silhouette and a red blade cutting down anyone who goes near him. 

Padme finds out about Palpie. About his plans to steal Ani away. And she fucking destroys him. 

I can't decide if I want her to truly love him or to use him because the P A I N

Imagine Obi and Ani and the 501st having to work at a McDonalds

Fives and Echo having the drive through. Ani and Rex have to cook, Cody and Obi trying to stay professional at the front of the house.

I take it back. Obi is the manager, he just comes up as Cody is about to kill someone at the register.

Fives says they’re out of everything so they don’t have to work

Rex gets mad because he keeps burning the burgers

Ani is making food with the force cause the grease and oil keeps burning him.

Obi is being sassy towards a Karen and had to stop Cody from getting ready to fight.

Ani tries to cook the burgers with his saber during rush hour

Echo starts crying because a Karen threw her drink on him and Fives is about to end a life

Ani having to go see Kix because he burned himself on the stove

Helix and Jesse come to order food and just see Cody and Rex crying silently as they work

Tup goes through the drive thru and he’s messing with Fives pretending he can’t hear him.

A Karen comes in while Ani’s up front and Obi has to slap a hand over his mouth before he can tell her to go fuck herself

R2 taking orders to people around the dining room and he shocks a Karen who asks to see the manager

Obi asks Anakin what R2 would consider a cookie so he can reward him for saving him. 

Jarjar comes in and knocks over a whole stack of plastic cups at the soda fountain and Cody’s about to go out and fight him.

Ani is ready to murder the whole time but Rex walked by the break room when Ani was on break and all he heard was crying

Clovis comes through the drive thru and fights with Echo and Anakin grabs him through the window

Fives tells everyone the ice cream machine is broken until Padme comes and they give her a complementary milkshake

Sheev comes in and asks for order 66

He asks for it but Fives sees it coming and grabs him by the collar and beats the shit out of him right there.

Windu comes in and Anakin “Accidentally” loses his order

A Karen throws her hot coffee right in Ani’s face and everyone is out to kill her right there.

Sheev comes in and orders only a salad because you know he’d be the one

Little kids come in and Echo asks them what toys they want while Fives just grabs and goes

Ahsoka comes in and orders a 20 piece nugget and Rex doubles it and throws in a milkshake for free

Padme, Ahsoka, and Satine all eat for free. They keep Palpies card on record and charge him with all of it

Sheev in his office wondering why he’s getting credit card bills

When they go to close Ani and Obi watch all the boys race each other to clean the fastest.

Dogma chasing everyone around yelling about protocol

Ani wants to sleep on the counter

He tries to and Obi has to drag him off of it.

Rex and Ani set nuggets aside to eat themselves

A Karen mistakes R2 for a trashcan and Ani’s about to kill someone

Someone gives a complicated order and Cody tries his best to get it all in but it just never stops and he’s about to have a breakdown

Obi has to stop Echo and Fives from going into the playground area

Fives calls them “Bitchnuggets” instead of McNuggets

Grievous comes in and Obi says “Hello There” and he proceeds to have a full breakdown

Maul comes through the drive thru and sees Obi through the window and yells Kenobi and Fives gets mad and throws his headset

Obi, Ani, and the boys all go drinking one night and Ani is trying to get Obi to slow down on the drinks and he climbs the counter and “It’s over Anakin I have the high ground” and Ani is going to cry

Fives just wants attention

Fives needs a nap and a solid hug

Someone flirts with Fives and he gets excited but then they say Rex is ugly and Fives is fight mode

(This is a conversation in regards to an Au marked as 66, me trying to get my friend to respond)

You ordered 66 now you must eat it and respond

I’m still waiting on my chicken nuggies

Bitch no you aren't. They’re dead

Fives told me the orders were backed up because Ani was having a breakdown so I’m sitting in line still

Rex and Cody got it made and brought it to you Obi is running the front and Echo is on the phone with Padme asking for help with Ani

(End convo. I got my response)


	13. Vader's Medic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE:  
> First, yes I know this isn't how it would work because of several different factors but just go with it. Second, I was told that one of the chapters was a double so I deleted the double and now I believe every chapter is different.

You ever think when Ylaren was working with Vader that he saw the same techniques and had to stop himself from getting saucy because Vader would kill him

Most definitely. I refuse to believe that at one point he wasn’t like “Even after the fall of the Republic I still end up with Skywalker.”

What if he did mouth off to him once. Just. Everyone else is just standing there. He realizes what he’s done. All you hear is the breathing and Vader just staring down at him until “You never change do you.”

It would be like if he encountered Kix again, he wouldn’t know what to do.

God Kix and his pirate gang going to make a run with imperials and they deal with Vader and the two just stare at each other and Kix puts it together and just “Oh you motherfucker”

No one knows what to do this pirate just cussed out Vader himself

Kix storms over and the rest of his group is having heart palpitations and Kix grabs his arm and “This one's metal now too?!”

Oh god if he found out about the legs…

Vader hauls him to a separate room and everyone assumes Kix is about to die but Kix makes him take the helmet off and they hear angry screeching and just “You look like a fucking broken egg what the fuck I leave you alone for three goddamn minutes!”

Vader walks out like a kid that just got put into a time out

As much as Kix threatens we all know he loves Ani very much. Can you imagine him seeing exactly what that suit does to him? What would he do?

Palpie would be found hanging from his cloak in the throne room and Kix would just be standing there like “Oh no, I wonder what happened, so unfortunate.”

Kix is killing any doctor who goes near Ani after that. He doesn’t trust anyone else with his idiot

One of the imperial medics tries to fix something on his suit and Kix just supercuts him. 

Kix would bring Ani back. He’d literally slap Vader until Vader up and quit and he’d get Ani back

Kix would see the damage done to his lungs and fix all of it so he could breathe on his own and get rid of the voice modulator and fix everything so he’s not in pain anymore and then bitch slap him so hard “Idiot there’s a rebel running around with Skywalker as his last name did you fucking know about that?”

Kix really just needs a vacation

Someone threatens Kix and Ani just “The fuck did you just say about my man?”

Someone dares to say clones are obsolete.

Even before like full suit full Vader. Someone says bad things about clones and Vader is coming for your kneecaps

If you put the 501st alone against the entire imperial military the war would have ended in a few hours

God if the cult found out the suit put him in pain and that Sheev had broken him to the point he wasn’t fighting it the empire would have been destroyed in under a day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	14. Domestic Chaos

Luke getting taught to march by the 501st 

Leia planting things in the temple garden

Luke and Leia clinging to Ahsoka's legs and her doing the monster walk with them

Luke tackle hugging Fives from the shadows. He's going to give him a stroke one day

Ani can't find Ahsoka one night and gets worried only to find her sleeping in a cuddle pile with all the boys

Hardcase threatens Lux half to death when he finds out he and Ahsoka kissed

Ahsoka has gotten piggyback rides from every 501st member, Ani, and Obi

Obi takes the twins on walks through the temple

When Luke got scared when he was little he’d hide himself in Ani and Obi’s robes

The 501st boys are the only ones who still do military jobs for the republic after the war. Purely to stay with Ani

Luke and Leia wearing Jesse and Rex’s armor

Fives tells them battle stories as bedtime stories

Waxer and Boil are top notch babysitters

Waxer works at a daycare after the war

Ani has been kicked out of every bar on Coruscant minus the clone’s bar

Anakin has gone shot to shot with every one of them

Obi doesn't want to drink but one look at Anakin and he's chugging

You think if Ani’s heart stopped on Mustafar Palpie would have been dumb and tried to use force lightning to restart it?

All the boys he had with him just watching like “Wtf”

He’d yeet himself into the lava if his whole plan died in front of him.

Ani only wants Kix to treat him and Palpies like “o don’t you worry I’ve got him right here freeze dried for you.”

Kix gets popped right out of the freezer into the oven with no thaw time

If that didn’t make him angry enough he’d see Ani’s condition

Palpie shocks him every time he’s about to pass out. 

Kix is a murder hornet in his own right “Whomst the fuck took your fucking legs you fuckwad did you do it yourself? God damn you I fucking hate Skywalkers”

Kix swears the most, but only to Ani

He wouldn’t dare swear at Ahsoka or Obi

Jesse swears near Ahsoka and Kix immediately is beating him to death

Kix is the most revered medic in the entire army

All the battalion medics have a meeting once a month and Kix is the most irate one there

They all have one idiot to deal with but Patch comes in with his head on the table just trying to be like “It’s okay, I saved him, it’s okay.”

Helix comes in crying because Obi is going to give him a stroke and he doesn’t know what to do

Kix fucking slams the door open looking ready to murder and still has some of Ani’s blood on his armor “Guys I’m killing my Jedi who’s up for some glorious treason!”


	15. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin and his goodboys get lost on a mission gone wrong

Anakin and his goodboys get lost on a mission with no comms. 

Ani is using his saber as a light. He denies they’re lost the whole time

Rex is trying to be supportive but he wants Ani to admit it

Fives and Echo start off picking on each other and goofing around 

Hardcase tells Rex to tell Ani they should rest 

Rex tells him to tell him himself but Hardcase says he's scared of the general when he gets like this. 

Ani gets them to a cave to rest for the night. 

Tup was hurt earlier in the mission and burned his hands and Jesse does his hair for him

Echo purifies the water 

Kix is treating all of them and for once is being silent with Ani

Ani tries to meditate to get them out of there but he can't focus himself enough cause he's worried about his men

Fives uses humor to cope and makes jokes Ani will start a new jedi temple out of the cave

None of them see the way Ani tenses or starts measuring his breaths when they make those jokes

Jesse tends to the fire while everyone else sleeps 

Ani stays awake the whole time because he's too wound up to sleep

Echo uses Fives as a pillow and they cuddle

Rex takes watch after Jesse and sees Ani’s faking it

Tells Kix and Kix drags Ani out of the cave

They all assume it's going to be a screaming match but Kix gives him a whole therapy session with a lot of swearing 

Brings Rex out and has Ani explain his nerves and Rex just stays near him so Ani knows they're alright

Hardcase head butted a tree to get fruit down

Kix yelled at him but treated him nicer than Ani

Somehow. Fives found alcohol and very excitedly brought it to the cave with him after scouting 

The boys all bond with each other 

Ani asks them to trust him again and they all say yes with no hesitation. 

They find the town easy this time and while all the others are telling Ani they support him 100% Kix smacks him upside the head and calls him an idiot for worrying

Back on the Resolute they find him one by one and tell him he always has their trust.

All of them are ready to protect their jedi, even from himself

(But none of them are there when Palpatine destroys him)


	16. Golden Idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Obiwan fun times with his boys.

Cody went to find Obi for a report just to find him head in his hands trying to figure out how to adult

Whole 212th was like “oh yeah. General kenobi is super cool and mature and smart and” so on and so forth and then they see him walk into a wall half asleep

501st and 212th watch Obi and Ani argue and Obi say he doesn't know where Ani picked up all these habits but the 212th knows Obi is basically the same person

Helix begged Obi to sit down when he was injured but Obi kept saying he was fine

Waxer and Boil were goofing around and saw Obi in the hallway looking dead inside. Asked what was wrong and that's how they found out they had a mission with Anakin the next day

None of them realized Obi didn't like flying until they watched him nearly throw up after a rough landing

Cody and Obi take turns being the dad

Oddball gets hugs from Obi all the time

Longshot was on deck duty and saw Obi falling asleep while working at a table and watched him faceplant the desk

Cody has been a crutch more times than he can count

Obi got threatened and cornered and the 212th came from nowhere like rabid animals protecting him

Helix was treating Obi after a long call with Kix and full threatened to use his tears instead of bacta. 

Waxer laughed hysterically about it. Boil was concerned for Helix’s mental state

Cody and Obi have been found sleeping leaning on each other on the bridge more than once

Obi needs a thicc nap. 

All Obi’s good boys watched him psych himself up to be the adult and then they got to the meeting point and the first thing they hear is Anakin screaming “it was all internal Ahsoka that's where my blood is meant to be!”

He just about turned around and left

Or cried. Either way. Maybe both. 

Helix has snacks with him and gives his brothers juice pouches 

Kix does this as well. They try to get their generals to stop being idiots and eat/drink and it ends with Obi and Ani back to back making the same grumpy face as they poutily drink the juice

Cody takes a picture and sends it to Rex without either of them knowing

Rex sends it to Ahsoka. 

The boys find out about Obi’s mullet days and beg him to bring it back just so they can see it 

Waxer brings home every child he finds

Obi got hurt once and told the boys to leave him but they all made a circle around him and said they'd rather die than leave him there


	17. Children

Luke the fashion monstrosity somehow managed to braid his hair and made it work

Leia was jealous

Anakin was nervous about messing up and lowkey practiced on Tup in secret

Luke can do hair like snapping fingers and Anakin doesn't understand how

Leia when she was little got sand all through her hair and cried

Luke wore one of Padme's dresses as a robe once

Leia wearing Ani’s old robes

Luke was showing off his levitation skills and then proceeded to drop r2 on himself

Ani never let his little babies walk anywhere because he never wanted to let them go

A tiny seat was put in next to Ani’s in the council chamber for the twins to sit in but they always sit on his lap anyways 

Luke has a poncho not a cloak because he is an I c o n

Luke is one of those boys who has a comb on him all the time

Leia will pull a weapon from no where so calmly but unless its a saber Luke gets nervous and fumbles

Luke laughs when he's nervous

Han and Luke wrestling in the living room while Ani and Padme make dinner and Leia sets the table

All fun and games till Luke yells ow just on instinct of verbalizing everything and DaddyAni comes out

Han fears for his life

Han is more afraid of Padme

Tiny Luke always played with Padme's hair

Luke knows how to weave flower crowns

Leia is a disaster heavy on the dis in the kitchen

Luke can make base things and can survive but is also a mess

They both take after Ani there

R2 and Luke were besties when he was growing up

R2 electrocuted a senator and a jedi on separate occasions when they got too close to Luke

3po and Leia went on many adventures together

Luke played dress up in Obi’s robes

Luke makes a game of finding and collecting Obi’s cloak on different missions because that mans a mess

When Leia and Han have Ben all the clones are right there because they all have baby fever and miss when the twins were babies

Grandpa Ani is fierce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you have any scenarios you'd like to see written and thought out like this leave a comment or message me on instagram @writingice!


	18. Skywalker Sluts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can guess from the title that this is just a mess in general, but be honest, you can see it can't you?

Luke is a slut and all of them know it

For one he’s a Skywalker which automatically makes him a hoe.

Two, look at him. Look at his shoes.

Three, the tiktok of him working as a slutty waiter undercover and crying because he can’t work the table because it’s Vader at the table. It would totally happen

Han is Luke’s sugar daddy

Like. Luke could do anything and Han would back him up

Luke could honest to god complain once about something stupid when he was having an off day and Han would get him new stuff

Luke could complain about walking and his feet hurting and Han would either carry him or steal them a ride

Luke could ride a bantha and Han would toss credits to him

$10 says Han once had Luke go undercover as a stripper

He, like Dick (Grayson, for any of my batfam readers reading this) when he went under, enjoyed it. 

Do we all know the picture of Anakin up on the stripper pole and Obiwan throwing money at him? Yes that one. Google it if you don't know.

  
  


It runs in the family

Luke would have fun up there and Han would most certainly be his pimp

We know this happened. Why isn’t it included in the lore?

They’ll become too powerful

“Lord Vader will become more powerful than either of us” *cue that image*

God wait could you imagine if Vader came to collect debts from guys who kept running and he decided to see to it personally and he went in and his son is just on the stripper pole.

I feel like he’d take off his helmet and walk out and just resign as Darth Vader

People see him having a midlife crisis outside and no one knows what to do

His stormtroopers are just frozen and don’t know what they should do, one of them just “Should we contact the emperor?”

His troopers are the ones he likes and you will never change my mind that he cares about them like he cared about the clones so just. Imagine if one of them called Piet because he was a friend and knew more and “Sir what do we do?” Got quieter. “I’m scared”

Piet just sighs “Hold on I’m on my way.”

“This attack has left me scarred and deformed” Someone tells Palpie that Vader is down and he’s about to have a stroke because he still needs him.

Palpie would be like that trooper in Fallen Order “Oh no, nono no.”

Palpie tells that trooper he’s on his way and to not leave Vader’s side and then asks what’s wrong with him so he knows what to bring and the poor trooper “Uhm. He’s,,,he’s crying?..”

Palpie gets there and goes in to see what all of the drama is about and sees Luke and just deadpan “This attack has left me scarred and deformed”

Ohmygod a trooper goes in to vet and comes out right when Ani’s calming down again and just “Hey that stripper in there is super good. Gave me a lapdance for free.” Ani tries to turn off his life support

Palpie starts fighting him to turn it back on

They watch Vader and their emperor slap at each other

The entire 501st stormtrooper legion just “can we go back?”

That one poor boy “Was it something I said?”

They hear yelling inside and Luke’s excited voice “Han! This guy just paid for the whole night! That’s good right?!”

Vader ignites his saber and Palpie is trying to get it out of his hand

They don’t know if he’s trying to kill someone else or himself

No one has ever seen Palpie look so desperate before

All the stormtroopers and Palpies guards are just scared

No one has ever seen Vader himself pout and have that large of a crisis. No one’s ever seen him cry before

They hear a crash from inside and a guy gets thrown out while yelling “I just wanted to see if he was as big as he looked!”

Vader orders the Death Star to target their planet and Palpie is panicking trying to override the order

Those poor stormtroopers see Vader slap Palpies hand away and glare through tears but it’s a desperate glare and just “Let me die!”

Leia finds out about Luke and lands and just storms in and tries to drag him out

Han is laughing the whole time. They come outside and Palpie Ani and all the stormtroopers see Luke laughing with a shot glass still in his hand “Han I wanna try the corners now.” and then get groped immediately

Leia has that signature look on her face the whole time

Palpie looked away for one second and Ani tries to rip off the life support

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	19. Anakin and Biology

Anakin knows nothing about biology. We've established this. 

Ahsoka is a girl. Month time. 

I feel like hers would be either chill with not much happening or devil time. No middle ground. 

And oh day one. She would scream for Anakin and he’d rush in and think she's dying. 

Run to Padme and say Ahsoka's bleeding and he doesn't know what to do. 

Padme comes and sees and starts to explain. Will kill Ani later for being stupid. 

The 501st doesn't understand why she's locked herself in her room. 

Ani is getting her chocolates and chips when they hit planet side wherever he can. 

Kix knows because medical records and he brings her meds and warm drinks

On a mission and she has cramps and is in pain and rubs at her stomach and the boys see and oh dear

Rex follows along and understands. Asks what she needs 

Fives is trying to understand and once it clicks he covers Echo's ears so he can’t hear. 

Hardcase wants to fight this “period” whos hurting his girl

Kix wacks them over the head as he brings her a heating pad

She doesn't really change much attitude wise. 

The most they see is her reactions are the same just a tad bit more exaggerated

All of them bring her snacks when she requests it. 

Ani will murder anyone who insults her for having these needs 


	20. Baby Ani

Obi had to teach ani to read. 

Think about it he could most likely talk and understand fluently for basic and huttease but he probably never learned to read as a slave. Which means Obi would have had to teach him. 

Sitting him down and teaching him the alphabet 

Explaining accents and how people will say things different but it can be the same word

Little Ani sitting on his lap as he tried to read a book

Ani could swear like a sailor before he could hold a saber. 

Obi has Ani read the signs everywhere they go as practice

The real reason he hates rules is because Obi made him read rule books to learn

Every book he read correctly he got to go to Dex’s for dinner

He prefers reading to meditation though

Obi loves his tiny baby

Tiny Ani and new master Obi going to the library together and picking out books

Obi giving tiny Ani piggyback rides

Baby Anakin tripping on robes and falling and getting scraped and Obi treating the wounds

People forget Obi is still very young himself until they see him and little Ani play wrestling in the gardens

Half think it’s unbecoming and want Yoda to do something, half think it’s good that they haven’t lost their spark. Guess which side Yoda is on.

Tiny Ani going to Obi after he has nightmares

Climbing up on the bed and Obi just hugging him.

Tiny Ani falling flat on his face because he tripped on his cloak and Obi cleaning the scrapes

Obi making the both of them tea

Tiny Ani didn't like tea so Obi started making him hot chocolate and would get little marshmallows for him

Small baby padawan Ani protecting Obi like a bear cub when Obi gets taken down on a mission

Ani teaching Obi huttease

It's fine until it backfires that Obiwan now knows when he swears

Just a bucket of pureness and they both deserved so much better than the fate they got


	21. Cult Family

Rex gets cult worshipped just as Ani and Ahsoka do

He goes to the barracks and sees a shrine for him and just turns around

He doesn't know how Ani handles it all the time

It's all fine and dandy until Rex gets clipped and knocked down and the whole cult including Ani goes off the rails for him

Jesse is pressed to his side like a service pet

Fives will fist fight anyone and Hardcase will cheer him the whole time 

Someone insults Rex and the whole cult just turns like a creepy owl to glare and crack knuckles

Coric loves Rex

They all get Rex bleach for his hair whenever they find it because they know exactly what he'd look like but can't see him any other color

Ani teases Rex about not being force sensitive and picks on him for how he fights but the second someone else tries to say the 501st captain can’t fight Ani is saber out ready to cut a bitch

Stitch has zero time for Obi’s stupidity

Cody is very calm most of the time but the second someone looks at Obi wrong he is fight mode

Rex and Cody talk about what stupidity their jedi got into all the time

When the twins are born they are the ultimate uncle team

Cody dibbed Leia because he thought the women in the family were the only ones with brains. 

Rex is used to Anakin so Luke's chaotic energy doesn't phase him

Leia stole Cody's blaster and it's what got her into them

Rex and Cody loved to steal the kids and play with them for a day

Cody showed up to a meeting with Leia in one of those baby carrier things that strapped to his chest

Obiwan just raised an eyebrow because he didn't know they were watching the kids that day

Anakin then came rushing in in a panic because he couldn't find his daughter

The whole 501st and 212th would burn the galaxy down if anything ever happened to those kids. 

In a world where Satine didn't die and her and Obi got married and Korkie officially was their son and they could have other kids

Cody doesn't let Korkie out of his sights for even a second.

Satine and Obi have another kid and oh god.

The playdates between Skywalker and Kenobi children is a chaotic disaster heavy on the dis first of all.

Second the uncle energy from the cults just skyrockets. 

They've got full protection details 24/7

The clone babes all just justify it by "Jango was mandalorian therefore, it counts"

It is nothing but pure beauty

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I very much hope you enjoyed it, this is only the first of many. Let me know what you think! If you have any situations you would like to see expanded on in this way please let me know in the comments. Thank you again!


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